i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
