my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
