you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
