i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
NoShamevember. You game?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
