i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
