I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
