Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
