your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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