In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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