i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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