just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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