i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
