Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I skipped work to stalk him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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