like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
