bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
