you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
