you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
