real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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