dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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