singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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