My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I had to cum in my sink.
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