He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my shit smells like andre
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
