i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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