So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't turn off my feet"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
