U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
