ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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