I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
