Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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