like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
