I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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