Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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