I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
