the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's always time for handjobs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
