its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
