I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
