so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
