Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize