My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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