sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
