she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
