yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
