You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
