omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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