Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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