What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
