Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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