judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
