I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
