Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
