Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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