I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What drink are we having for lunch?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
