this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
