I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
