omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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