someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
