just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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