I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
