yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
