time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
