dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
