You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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