areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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