Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
