what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize