did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
zippers are such a cool invention
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
