rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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